Fail well

I sat with her

There was water

Summer, sun

It shouldn’t have mattered

But it did

You know as well as I

That the circumstances matter

So I sat there

With that comfortable feeling

That of everywhere I could be

Anywhere on Earth

I wanted to be there

And only there

She wasn’t even trying

Yet there it was

Story of her life

Story of mine

To her, nothing

To me, earth-shattering

Somehow, profound

Every word of her speech

Was riddled with clues

They begged to be found

But I didn’t want to find them

Didn’t want to listen to what

They would say

So we drank

We laughed

We knew that everything

Was too good to ever last

But we didn’t care

Because we were there

Mid-sentence

She paused

As if trying to say

What was on her mind

Her mouth was half-open

Her eyes had narrowed

She looked somehow mischievous

Yet shy

All at once

Then she changed the subject

I would give

A lot of what I have

To know what she was thinking

Right then

But she wouldn’t tell me

And I’m convinced

That I’ll never know

It was a kiss goodnight

A lonely car ride home

I wasn’t convinced I would

Ever see her again

Maybe that was

For the best

Maybe some afflictions

Are only cured

By abstinence

But I’m sick

Of abstaining

Of pretending

There is nobility in failure

A failure worn well

Is still a failure

Because you can fail better

But you can never fail well

Because out there

Someone is winning

With the girl

You love